Time for a change...

Some of you may say or feel that I have no place writing this message, but it takes a lot for me even make this statement…

I just wanted to remind everyone that over the years I’ve watched the Lauderhill Police Department’s “Thin Blue Line” almost completely vanish. The trend in this agency has become “avoid any form of contact with any officer on administrative leave until the completion of their open investigation”. This is something that has been drilled into our heads over and over again for years by those above us. Senior officers usually ignore this unwritten rule, while the newer officers begin to fear negative repercussions or possible career suicide should they reach out to someone in anyway.

This type of behavior must STOP! Whether an officer is believed to be in the wrong or if the agency is “just following protocol”, you should never cease to communicate with that officer. Hopefully you all haven’t forgotten what it was like to scream on your radio because “the s**t hit the fan” and you now found yourself fighting for your life. No one other than your brothers and sister wearing that badge are going to risk their lives to get to you expeditiously and place themselves in harm’s way to save you. Even if you dislike the person calling for help you never take your time to reach them. Instead you put your safety second until they are safe and the threat is GONE! I think many of you have forgotten those moments somewhere along the line. Maybe this is caused by a promotion to a higher rank or specialized unit, but no matter what the reason remember this… every single one of you, from the Chief down, at some point during your career worked road patrol as a grunt.

I fell victim to this treatment during my recent situation. Last time I checked the Lauderhill Police Department was a small agency of 128 sworn officers; an agency small enough that after a while there really isn’t anyone that doesn’t know you on a one on one bases. I can count on ONE HAND the number of officers that attempted to contact me and see how I was doing. I know that I lost count of how many cries for help that I responded to over my years from other officers via their radio, of which over my tenure I worked on every shift for some period of time. It’s pretty sad when you do the math.
We spend more time at work with each other than with our families and loved ones. So when your life line is cut, no one returns your calls and no one is checking on you because they actually care to know how you’re holding up. This is a pretty scary feeling that only a few of you have experienced. Some of you think that the officer will be fine and they have their family to be there for them. Others may say “well they probably just wanna be left alone” or “I can’t call them because I don’t want to get tangled up in this case”. WRONG! Your family can only do so much and if they aren’t in law enforcement they won’t ever fully understand what you feeling or going through deep down inside.

Remember you never need nor should you discuss the facts of any circumstances surrounding an open investigation, to protect the officer and to keep yourself out of the investigation, but the last time I checked there is no policy or law against checking on the well being of the officer(s).

I resigned under very underhanded circumstances, but what those of you don’t know is that after I was mislead and completely traumatized by the information provided to me, I considered suicide. Those individuals that played a part in my coerced resignation probably don’t realize that they pushed me into a corner and I felt like my world had come to an end and that I had no other choice. Thankfully even though I was very intoxicated due to the stress of the information that was provided to me I was able make the most rational decision possible and called the on duty supervisor to meet me at my residence and retrieve my department issued firearms, which were never taken from me when I was placed on administrative leave. After telling an officer that he or she is being placed on administrative leave in the sergeant’s office and you fail to relieve them of their department issued firearms even after that said officer requests if you need their duty weapon? Sounds like a problem waiting to happen. Why is it that other agencies in this county relieve officers of their department issued firearms and/or place you on desk duty until the completion of their investigation? Rather than sending the officer home to stare at their walls wounding their fate. If the department deems the officer is currently unfit to perform his or her lawful duties as a sworn police officer than why leave that officer in possession of department issued firearms? They don’t leave you with your department issued take home vehicle do they? Anyhow, I honestly believe that night I was the closest I had ever come to even considering suicide as my only escape from the horrible things I just been told moments earlier.

The moral to that story is if there was some sort of support system in place for officers on administrative leave then maybe I would never have felt like that was my only choice, I mostly likely would not have resigned to escape the horrific and threatening message that was relayed to me by someone that I considered a friend on behave of the “MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE CITY”. Who violated my Police Officer’s Bill of Rights by providing confidential information regarding my open internal affairs investigation to a city employee outside of the scope of the investigation and completely outside of the Lauderhill Police Department all together!

Weeks after my resignation I again reached out to the Lauderhill Police Department’s command staff in tears and I requested to be provided me with a phone number and/or name of someone that I could speak to in order to help me through this difficult time. They never responded to that request. Once again, feeling like my world was ending I sat on the edge of my bed and contemplated suicide. The only thing that stopped me was the thought of how devastated my family would be if I committed this act. I made a few attempts to speak to the Chief and other command staff members for help. The last attempt was after watching the funeral of the two Miami Dade Police Officers who were murdered while attempting to serve a warrant earlier that week. After making my request to the front desk I was denied this opportunity and was met in the Police Department’s Lobby by a Lieutenant. So out of the Chief of Police, two Assistant Chiefs and three Captains I was only met by a Lieutenant? Pretty sad to say the least after four and a half years of service, saving strangers lives and getting injured on many occasions in the line of duty.

Not too long after this, my father came to me and informed me of Officer Elijah Rodgers’ death. I was completely heartbroken and very angry. All I could think of was how close I came to making the same choice after receiving not even a phone reference of someone to speak to for help. As many of you know Officer Rodgers wrote an e-mail and sent it to all City of Lauderhill employee’s hours before he made his fatal choice. City officials attempted to remove this e-mail from the server within minutes of its receipt.
When I sat at Officer Rodgers’ funeral, I honestly felt as if I was sitting at my own. I watched as the room filled with hundreds of people, but how many of them tried to reach out to him? The only humor I found at his funeral was how only after his death was I approached by several members of the Lauderhill Police Department asking me if I was ok and pushing me to talk to a victim’s advocate / therapist from the Pembroke Pines Police Department. Why does it take someone to commit the ultimate sacrifice before other people actually care? Thank you to those individuals that took it upon themselves to try to help me. Funny how the command staff, standing only inches from me, didn’t even have the respect to acknowledge me even after making eye contact with me several times. What great leadership skills. I’m just glad that Officer Rodger’s family would not allow the administration to speak on his behalf. I totally respect you all for taking a stand and not letting those uncaring members of the Lauderhill Police Department give false political speeches.

I only ask one thing… Break this horrible behavior of abandoning your fellow officers who are ever involved in a tragic situation or placed on administrative leave. Forget about whether their actions were wrong or right. Don’t base you decision to contact them solely on whether or not you feel they may be guilty of a crime. Instead remember when you yelled for help on your radio and they came against all obstacles to help you, even if it cost them their life. I know I would have laid down my life for any of you without question and yes I did take it very personal if any of you were injured as a result of someone else’s careless actions. But I never made these decisions based on my personal feels for you, instead all feelings were put aside because you were all my brothers and sisters and I hoped for the same love, respect and treatment in return.

Citizens seem to forget or fail to realize on a daily bases that even though they may dislike or not understand police officers actions, without them to protect you there would be anarchy. Police officers are domestic soldiers who die in the line of duty daily for complete strangers and in order for you to hopefully live a safe and long life. I won’t say that police officers are perfect, because the last time I checked police officers aren’t robots. They are human just like all of you and I would venture to say that there isn’t one sworn law enforcement agent or officer regardless of the rank that hasn’t ever made even the smallest mistake at some point during their career.

I will never truly stop “bleeding blue”, especially when I never wanted to leave in the first place. R.I.P. Elijah, I promise your sacrifice will not be in vain. I will never stop fighting the good fight my friend, NEVER!

Yours Truly,
Officer Andrew A. Peña CCN #390

P.S.

Delete this one Chuck!

WOW ! that pretty much tells it like it is. keep your head held high my brother, those of us that really worked with you always knew that you had our back, and some of us would still like to work side by side with you again. just remember one thing NEVER GIVE UP THE FIGHT !!! :cop:

Well put Pena. good luck to you in your fight.you still have some of us that care and remember the good old days.just watch you back when it comes to these scum bags their all nothing but a big pile of S**T :evil:

MR. Pena,
I find your writing very interesting and dishartening. It is a good thing the Army is NOT like the Lauderhill Police department, we never leave a fallen or hurt soldier behind, it appears that some of the police in this department lack integrity and comment to their fellow officer. No matter what the situation your C.O.C. should be looking out for you and properly advising you of what to do, no matter what the circumstance. I am glad that I do not live within that departments jurisdiction, I would definately be concerned about there abilities if they are controlled by leadership. If SOME, not all, of your fellow police officers do not care about each other, how can they care about the citizens of the community they support!!! This is definatley a bad pleague within your former department, probably more so within the area of supervision and management. Remember the troops are a direct reflection of the command, if command does not show that they care, subordinates will not either. IF there is deception from above, then there is deception every where. I do not know the circumstances of why you resigned or what lead to it, but regardless your C.O.C should have stuck by your side and properly advised you on what to do, not mislead you. I am sure there are some great police officers within that organization but there are definately some I would NOT want to go to war with. I am sure you want legal redemption for what ever it is they did to you and I can understand it. BUT do not let it consume your life and as hard as this may be, I would press on with my life, join a great organizaion, join the ARMY.

keep up the good fight,I wish RODGERS would have done the same thing. we will keep you in our prayers, we don't need another repeat. we all know now how badly you got ****ED. I only know that we wish you the best, and hope you can come back to us some how. GOD BLESS you, and keep the faith

OK PENA ALL I CAN SAY IS WELL DONE, AND YOU GOT A BIG SET OF BALLS IN YOUR SACK :shock: LIKE YOU SAID DELETE THIS ONE CHUCK YOU BIG P.O.S.

YEAH ANDREW YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS
YOU GOT RAW DEAL NOMATTER THAT YOU GAVE AFALSE REPORT TO COVER UP CRASHING YOUR CAR DRUNK
EVERY ONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN YOUR ZONE PARTNER KNOWS THAT YOU WERE A TICKING TIME BOMB. EVERY ONE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO GET YOU, SETTING YOU UP, BULL**** IA'S, TRANSFERS, LYING TO YOU TO GET U TO RESIGN, AND NOW ABANDONING YOU.
NOPE YOU DIDNT DO ANY OF IT TO YOURSELF. I HEARD BOUT THIS RANT THIS MORNING AND HAD TO CHECK IT OUT. DO ME A FAVOR AND DONT BRING UP RODGERS. I HEARD YOU AT THE FUNERAL JUMPING ON SYMPATHY WAGON TALKING LIKE IT WAS YOU.
AND UNLESS YOU GOT HIRED I DONT THINK YOURE SIGNATURE IS RIGHT.

YEAH ANDREW YOU TELL IT LIKE IT IS
YOU GOT RAW DEAL NOMATTER THAT YOU GAVE AFALSE REPORT TO COVER UP CRASHING YOUR CAR DRUNK
EVERY ONE WHO HAS EVER BEEN YOUR ZONE PARTNER KNOWS THAT YOU WERE A TICKING TIME BOMB. EVERY ONE IS ALWAYS TRYING TO GET YOU, SETTING YOU UP, BULLSHIT IA'S, TRANSFERS, LYING TO YOU TO GET U TO RESIGN, AND NOW ABANDONING YOU.
NOPE YOU DIDNT DO ANY OF IT TO YOURSELF. I HEARD BOUT THIS RANT THIS MORNING AND HAD TO CHECK IT OUT. DO ME A FAVOR AND DONT BRING UP RODGERS. I HEARD YOU AT THE FUNERAL JUMPING ON SYMPATHY WAGON TALKING LIKE IT WAS YOU.
AND UNLESS YOU GOT HIRED I DONT THINK YOURE SIGNATURE IS RIGHT.

Wow! Terrible grammar and of course anonymous. I'm going to venture to say that you may be someone with guilt on you're shoulders or s*** on your face after his message. Well put Pena, you spoke from your heart and have a lot more guts than anyone I know. Keep your head up and just know that a lot of us really know the real story and want you back. As for this poster, crawl back into the hole you came from and grow a set of balls large enough to put your name to your words COWARD!

hey Bravo Brove why don't you get your story stright.READ what the man said,not slamming any of us ,just looking out for something that can happen to any of us at any time.by the way you P.O.S...why don't you do us a favor and crawl back under the rock you came out of.***** it guys like you that make me sick.a false police report,looks like you better go down to the State Attorney office and give them your side of the story since that charge got throw in the trash can (where you belong)and also tell them how he was drunk opps i guess you can't since you were'nt on the crash seen.keep listening to the rumor mill you BIG P.O.S. kick a man while he's down. ******!!!

your wright terrible grammar ops: can anyone say F.D. zack with **** on his hands,or maybe our great command staff,anyway you are all scum bags,and i think the **** thats coming your way is not looking good for any of you. :evil: