Rumor Mill

New rumor info just off the press:

Danny N is going to get a crew cut/flat top.

Alan W is going to retire and get a job as a valet parking cars in a motel.

Bart is going to be a full time dispatcher. He does much better than most of them anyway.

Greg Y is going to go to Afghanistan or Haiti and join the UN Police Force.

The Sheriff was offered the opportunity to take over LPD. He refused, reportedly because we had too many ex-Lake Worth police officers.

The new selection committee for Awards has been announced. It is composed entirely of blind, deaf and mute ex-police officers from Key West.

A uniform change will soon be announced. Veteran officers will wear blue Tommy Bahama shirts and shorts along with sandals. Badges will be worn on straw hats.
Socks are optional. Officers on probation will be required to wear the standard uniform, however, in any area where the word "police" was formerly worn, it shall be substituted for the words "Green Ass Rookie".

Dispatcher training has been cancelled. No wait, its on again. Nope, its cancelled. Hang on, its re-scheduled. Oh wait, that was the old date.

Our Training Sergeant will soon introduce a mandatory class of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Any officer who cannot raise his leg to a level above his head while standing on one foot will not pass the qualification. Any officer who can is eligible for a one-night stand.

I hear there is a rumor that **** (posting a slam violates the terms of use MOD 593) is giving up drinking. How about that?

I AM GOING TO SUE ALL OF YOU. THEN I AM GOING TO TELL ON YOU TO THE MAN!

Due to budget issues town council will be selling all cars starting with the CHARGER'S. With the profits, they will buy smart car's WITHOUT A.C. They will also decrees the amount of vehicle's used during every shift, this mean's two man cars, so PLEASE DON'T EAT ANY BEANS OR ANY OTHER FOOD ITEMS WHICH MAY CAUSE MASSIVE GAS THE DAY BEFORE OR DURING YOUR WORK WEEK'S :devil:

TodD clEared A CasE

PrIce agreES to BicYclE PatrOl to assist tHe buDget ISsueS

******** (slamming violates the terms of use MOD 593) dOES have an ATtituDe ProbLEm

ColBY moves to JacKsONviLLe and Still MAkeS the DRive


"Go fISh"

More Rumors:
is
After trying many times, Doug S has finally had his application accepted at the Florida Fish and Raccoon Commission and he will be moving to OPOLACKAHATCHEE in seven days.

IT IS NOT A RUMOR that Alan W showed up at the recent wedding wearing blue jeans. In his defense, however, it should be noted that is was a new pair of blue jeans, with no holes.

Agent K is quitting smoking and is now on his third smoke-free hour. Congrats are in order, so lets ......wait a sec.....oops, there goes another Marlboro.

The recent rumor that The ******* (slamming violates the terms of use MOD 593) arrived to work smelling like hay was untrue. ************

The reason that Deck did not show up at the recent wedding was that he was having some sort of implant surgery. Best wishes for a speedy recovery Deck!!

Again, The Older Young and the Younger Young are not related. They merely share the same last names. Other than that, there is no similarity whatsoever. The Younger Young hates horses. T***********. The Younger Young cannot sit still, he must make an arrest every day he works, The Older Young, when he does come in to work, will try to talk someone else into taking an arrest.

A certain officer, on his recent return from vacation, was rumored to have brought a fellow officer an excellent bottle of Rum from that island. Damn good rum. Thank you, certain officer. :evil: :evil: :evil:

[mod 593]

TodD clEared A CasE

PrIce agreES to BicYclE PatrOl to assist tHe buDget ISsueS

******** (a slam violates the terms of use MOD 593) dOES have an ATtituDe ProbLEm

ColBY moves to JacKsONviLLe and Still MAkeS the DRive


"Go fISh"