Funny stories of your tour behind the gates.
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Funny stories of your tour behind the gates.
Guess this has been neglected. How about I start it off.
As an officer I once conducted a cell search in central unit. All us old dogs started in central unit. I had heard the stories of inmates cooking their own "hooch" all the time. During those days’ inmates, called convicts back then, had their own small crock pots. As I was doing the cell search I found the crock pot boiling a tan’ish mix of liquid, it smelled pretty fruity to me. I asked the con what it was which he replied, take a drink. Ah Haaaaa! I finally found some hooch. So proud of myself I cared it through CB1 to the yard office, spilling it on my shoes and hands as I went. I proudly placed it on Cpt. Martins desk and proclaimed my find. Cpt. Martin, Lt. Smith, and Sgt. Firestien looked at me and calmly said it was gas for an officer. "What the hell are inmates making gas for, they don’t have cars!" The trio looked at me and educated me on the fine details of mixing baby oil, fecal matter, urine, spit, and toothpaste then cooling it in the crock pot to toss on staff. To this F’n day I hear it from my friends about Austin Powers coffee find. I hate chock-full-o-nuts.
During a tour I met a young officer who said that she was going to write a book about the funny things she had see in here time at DOC. I asked how long she had been with the department, whe replied "one year". So I know those funny stories are out there, lets here them.
We use to have males at Perryville. One day I was doing a cell inspection when I came across a tightly rolled up sock under an inmates mattress. He called it fifi. I told him to get his "pet" fifi and put it on the shelf where it belonged.
The next day the Director at the time was in briefing with a mental health doctor to talk about inmates. After the doctors speach about inmates mental health I commented about the inmate and his believing he had a pet that he named "fifi" The captain shot me a look and turned ten shades of red. The doctor asked "Well, what does the inmate do with his pet?" The room roared with laughter, which the director with doctor in hand exited stage left.
My captain pulled me to the side and informed me what a "fifi" was. Needless to say I do not pick things up any more.
OMG!, thats all I can say, OMG!Quote:
Originally Posted by PerryvillePrincess
YOU TATTOED WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN I HATE DOING STRIP SEARCHES.