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[AUTOMATED RESPONSE] Chief O’Brien is still out of the office working from his boat. Leave a message. Press 1 for Illegal State Road/Bridge closures. Press 2 to protect the Jews as they violate social distancing. Press 3 to have more sergeants on timeout than work alpha shift. Press 4 to report a shooting or carjacking [voicemail full] Press 5 to volunteer to help Assistant Chief Devlin build another deck at his home Press 6 To give special privileges to the commissioners and mayor. Press 7 to ignore racist Facebook posts Press 8 to get an interview or statement from the Chief [handled by Lata] Press 9 to lower the extremely high morale For a vote of no confidence or file a complaint with city hall, disconnect now.