Things that make you laugh

Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two thugs raped
her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the unsuspecting ex-cons
down - - and shot off their testicles.

The old lady spent a week hunting those men down -- and when she found
them, she took revenge on them in her own special way, said Melbourne
police investigator Evan Delp. Then she took a taxi to the nearest police
station, laid the gun on the sergeant's desk and calmly told him:

'Those *******s will never rape anybody again, by God.' Cops say convicted
rapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his testicles
when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the hotel room where he
and former prison cellmate Stanley Thomas, 29, were holed up.

The wrinkled avenger also blew Thomas' testicles to kingdom come, but
doctors managed to save his mangled penis, police said. The one guy,
Thomas, didn't lose his manhood, but the doctor I talked to said he won't
be using it the way he used to, Detective Delp told reporters. Both men are
still in pretty bad shape, but I think they're just happy to be alive after
what they've been through.

The Rambo Granny swung into action August 21 after her granddaughter Debbie
was carjacked and raped in broad daylight by two knife-wielding creeps in a
section of town bordering on skid row. "When I saw the look on my Debbie's
face that night in the hospital, I decided I was going to go out and get
those *******s myself 'cause I figured the Law would go easy on them,"
recalled the retired library worker. "And I wasn't scared of them, either--
because I've got me a gun and I've been shooting' all my life. And I wasn't
dumb enough to turn it in when the law changed about owning one."

So, using a police artist's sketch of the suspects and Debbie's description
of the sickos', tough-as-nails Ava spent seven days prowling the
wino-infested neighborhood where the crime took place till she spotted the
ill fated rapists entering their flophouse hotel.

I knew it was them the minute I saw 'em, but I shot a picture of 'em anyway
and took it back to Debbie and she said sure as hell, it was them, the
oldster recalled.

So I went back to that hotel and found their room and knocked on the door
and the minute the big one, , opened the door, I shot 'em right square
between the legs, right where it would really hurt 'em most, you know.

Then I went in and shot the other one as he backed up pleading to me to
spare him. Then I went down to the police station and turned myself in.

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal with the
vigilante granny. What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is
difficult to throw an 81-year-old woman in prison, Det. Delp said,
especially when 3 million people in the city want her for Mayor.

she should be making doc policy.

Women's A$$ Size Study

There is a new study just released by the American
Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their a$$es. The results are pretty interesting:

1. 85% of women surveyed feel their a$$ is too big.


2. 10% of women surveyed feel their a$$ is too small.


3. The remaining 5% say they don't care; they love him, he's a good man and they would have married him anyways

Women's A$$ Size Study

There is a new study just released by the American
Psychiatric Association about women and how they feel about their a$$es. The results are pretty interesting:

1. 85% of women surveyed feel their a$$ is too big.


2. 10% of women surveyed feel their a$$ is too small.


3. The remaining 5% say they don't care; they love him, he's a good man and they would have married him anyways :lol:

PECANS IN THE CEMETERY

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just
inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts
and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.
Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he
thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to
investigate. Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you,
one for me."

He just knew what it was. He jumped back on his bike and rode off.

Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along.

"Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan
and the Lord are down at the cemeter y dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."
When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled slowly to the cemetery.

Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me.One for you,
one for me.."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' me the truth. Let's see
if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable
to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of
the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go
get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the
kid on the bike.

Smile, God Loves You!!!

i will tell you what makes me laugh....


A CPO WEARING BDU'S POLO SHIRT WITH GUN BELT AND BOOTS.. THAT IS FUNNY, WE HAVE A FEW OF THEM AND ITS SOOOOOOOOOOO FUN TO SEE :shock: :lol: :D

WANTABEES AT WORK :shock:

Back to postive posting boards and not union junk.