Unregistered
08-18-2016, 02:41 AM
I'm a Trooper!
Be a Trooper
Alarm goes off at 0500
Wake up Richard, your shift starts at 1300 today
Stumble out of bed, stand next to the mirror and look sad
Put on campaign hat
Fvckk yeah
All better now
Wife asks you why you’re wearing your campaign hat at 5 in the morning
‘I’m a Trooper.’
Wife shakes head and walks away
Walk out to driveway
Start to wash and wax your squad
Notice neighbor looking at you funny
‘Hey Richard, that’s the third time you’ve washed your police car in 24 hours……’
Look at your neighbor in disgust
Did he just call you a police officer?
I’m a fvckkinng Trooper
Walk away
Put on campaign hat
Fvukk yeah
All better now
It’s 1259 now
Shift starts at 1300
Sit in your squad
Finger tapping on the mic
**** is it 1300 yet?
It is now
Start squad up
Driving the highways
Hot call comes out
You’re dispatched to it
Adrenaline pumping
120 miles per hour down the freeway
Lights/siren going
Arrive on scene
Remove tree branch that was partially blocking the shoulder
Saving ****ing lives man
Tip campaign hat to a passing motorist
They ask you why you did that
I just saved your life mam
‘I’m a Trooper.’
No need to thank me, just doing my job
Get back into squad car
Time to crack down on speeders
Make your first traffic stop
Unbelievable speeder
You stare in horror for the blatant disregard they have for others
Issue the citation for speed
‘Sir you’re receiving a citation for 57 in a 55 today…’
“Seriously? This is the third time this week…Only you…”
‘Sir……………………………………………….I’m a Trooper. I just saved your life. Slow down’
Walk away
**** yeah I’m a Trooper
Get back in squad car
Scanning city police channel
Overheard a call come out
Hot call
Shooting
Four people confirmed shot
Shakes head
‘Not on the highway, not interrupting my day.’
Stop a car for speed
58 in a 55
Heathens
Get a hot call
Adrenaline pumping, palms sweaty
120 mph on the freeway
Lights/siren going
Arrive on scene
Remove empty, flat 2x2 cardboard box from #3 lane
Saved another ****ing life today
Say ‘You’re welcome, motoring public’ and tip your campaign hat as you walk to your squad
People shrug their shoulders and wonder why you do that
They don’t get it
They’re not Troopers
We’re the gold standard of law enforcement
They just can’t comprehend it
End your shift
It’s been a long 8 hours
Pull your squad into your driveway
Go into shock
Staring in horror at the neighbors front lawn
Get out of squad car
Start walking quickly towards the neighbors to confront them
Shit, forgot the campaign hat
Go back to squad car
Put campaign hat on
Start walking quickly to neighbors again
Your wife sees you
‘RICHARD! What are you doing?’
“This has been going on too long. I’m talking to the neighbors and fixing this problem.”
Get to the neighbors house
Pound on door furiously
Answered
‘Hey…Richard…what’s up?’
“Your lawn. Grass is 5 inches tall. Ordinance says 4 inches max. Follow the rules. Next time it’s a ticket.”
See. Troopers can give warnings too.
Be a Trooper
Alarm goes off at 0500
Wake up Richard, your shift starts at 1300 today
Stumble out of bed, stand next to the mirror and look sad
Put on campaign hat
Fvckk yeah
All better now
Wife asks you why you’re wearing your campaign hat at 5 in the morning
‘I’m a Trooper.’
Wife shakes head and walks away
Walk out to driveway
Start to wash and wax your squad
Notice neighbor looking at you funny
‘Hey Richard, that’s the third time you’ve washed your police car in 24 hours……’
Look at your neighbor in disgust
Did he just call you a police officer?
I’m a fvckkinng Trooper
Walk away
Put on campaign hat
Fvukk yeah
All better now
It’s 1259 now
Shift starts at 1300
Sit in your squad
Finger tapping on the mic
**** is it 1300 yet?
It is now
Start squad up
Driving the highways
Hot call comes out
You’re dispatched to it
Adrenaline pumping
120 miles per hour down the freeway
Lights/siren going
Arrive on scene
Remove tree branch that was partially blocking the shoulder
Saving ****ing lives man
Tip campaign hat to a passing motorist
They ask you why you did that
I just saved your life mam
‘I’m a Trooper.’
No need to thank me, just doing my job
Get back into squad car
Time to crack down on speeders
Make your first traffic stop
Unbelievable speeder
You stare in horror for the blatant disregard they have for others
Issue the citation for speed
‘Sir you’re receiving a citation for 57 in a 55 today…’
“Seriously? This is the third time this week…Only you…”
‘Sir……………………………………………….I’m a Trooper. I just saved your life. Slow down’
Walk away
**** yeah I’m a Trooper
Get back in squad car
Scanning city police channel
Overheard a call come out
Hot call
Shooting
Four people confirmed shot
Shakes head
‘Not on the highway, not interrupting my day.’
Stop a car for speed
58 in a 55
Heathens
Get a hot call
Adrenaline pumping, palms sweaty
120 mph on the freeway
Lights/siren going
Arrive on scene
Remove empty, flat 2x2 cardboard box from #3 lane
Saved another ****ing life today
Say ‘You’re welcome, motoring public’ and tip your campaign hat as you walk to your squad
People shrug their shoulders and wonder why you do that
They don’t get it
They’re not Troopers
We’re the gold standard of law enforcement
They just can’t comprehend it
End your shift
It’s been a long 8 hours
Pull your squad into your driveway
Go into shock
Staring in horror at the neighbors front lawn
Get out of squad car
Start walking quickly towards the neighbors to confront them
Shit, forgot the campaign hat
Go back to squad car
Put campaign hat on
Start walking quickly to neighbors again
Your wife sees you
‘RICHARD! What are you doing?’
“This has been going on too long. I’m talking to the neighbors and fixing this problem.”
Get to the neighbors house
Pound on door furiously
Answered
‘Hey…Richard…what’s up?’
“Your lawn. Grass is 5 inches tall. Ordinance says 4 inches max. Follow the rules. Next time it’s a ticket.”
See. Troopers can give warnings too.