GPD Fables

[I luv my job but it hates]

Terri be nimble
Terri be quick
Terri give me some money so I can get off WIC

[Lone Ranger]

Mongo and Mullinax
went up the hill
to mingle with the chief
when the came down
their noses were brown
with grass stains on their knees

[Lone Ranger]

The Kentucky Queen and Gary the slug
pacing back and forth on the second floor rug
asking all the snitches have they a clue or a hunch
who writes these posts keeping their panties in a bunch

Get me IA, some brass, and a snitch
and get that female officer that looks like a witch
these naughty little cops are making fools of us
time to throw a few of them under the bus

[Hate the hated]

You think that meager raise was actually enough
I'm tired of being worn out like a west greenville slut
Culprit #2 is like none other
she's our very own chief the wicked STEP-MOTHER
I know you are dying to know who #1 could B
It's actually a 110 pound piece of feces named Jim Bourey
If you are wondering who this could be
it's one of your faithfully screwed at GPD

[rep]

I came here to visit and maybe get a job
heard the GPD was the place to start
but I hear and keep hearing that the pay is real bad
the morale is down and the crime's going up

What the GPD needs is a hand from the pros
find someone in Miami to give you the codes
expose politicians, city managers and the sorts
the media is your best friend to let the citizens know

GPD has hard working men, GPD keeps the streets safe
then GPD needs to pay well and give us more respect!

[GPD Cop]

We have one from Miami and he always talks about it so you think he would try to help us with the pay and morale. He's a major though so his pay is good and with good pay come good morale for him at least.

[Lone Ranger]

Hello all it's been awhile
but I'm back again for some Halloween style
1st let's start with the powers that be
I'll call him Hitler aka (Jim Bourey)
He was dressed up as OBAMA down on Main
holdin up a sign that said "Vote for McCain"
I thought wow that was pretty smart and wondered where he got his degree
come to find out it's only a GED

Then I traveled the halls of LEC
Gary took it old school and dressed as E.T.
The Chief well her costume was actually at the top
she had the nerve to dress up as a cop

The costumes contest was getting intense
I thought to myself this does not make sense
There were Lt's and Sgt's running all over the place


Then it finally hit me

They were playing the backstabbing race

[Lone Ranger]

Twas the night before Christmas and from 426 to LEC
not a creature was stirring except the powers to be
stockings were hung by the chimney with care
hoping St Nick would come and be fair
for you naughty backstabbers he will be nowhere to be found
because when us peons need some help your nowhere to be found
The brass was all nestled snug in their beds
while Lt Dean had visions of judge hawley pole dancing in his head
for knox and his ole crooked crap
gave an 83P's huge butt a nice slap
for bourey, the snitches, and all of the moles
Santa tried his best but couldn't find you a soul
for all the cool officers that slick their hair with gel
most of you have no game from what st nick can tell
so being the giving person here is a gift from me
I renewed all of your scrips to e-harmony
for the rest of the haters a lump of coal would be cushy, but
the lump your getting will be a bit warm and mushy
To all the real cops and brothers at GPD
Lone Ranger wishes you a Merry Christmas from he or she

[Non Kool Aid Drinker]

Well it's almost been five years and my things have changed
I'm not being a smart ass i'm talking about the range

Sorry brothers and sisters I told you a lie
I'm here to revive the GPD pride

I'll start with the Sgts who are scared like recruits
To them proactivity is shining your boots

Lt's are great and keep you on track
Until you have crosshairs on your back

Captains are the guys that have two gold bars
But they're true meaning here is truly a farce
They walk talking about how to police
They're rhetoric sounds like a Hollywood New Release

Major well what do we do
Hmmm well we will get back to you soon

The chief oh my isn't she the best
She even got us trauma plates for the back of our vests
She said we needed to be prepared for the back stabbbing here
and with that Merry Christmas and Happy New Year