What's Green and tan and goes really fast down the interstate?
An Ag Cop riding a trooper to the buffet.

Now seriously, one of you mentioned how hard it is to explain to John Q. Citizen WTF we are. For you the slow witted ego maniac maybe. How is this:

Well we are the law enforcement division of the Department of Agriculture. We are responsible for inspecting plants, produce and livestock that enter into and exit the state.

See two sentences and it's covered. Now let's see how a trooper would answer the same question.

Trooper glaring at citizen who dare approach him while he thinks how superior he is. Trooper realizes he is on the spot and will have to answer the question. Well we are a division of the Department of Highway Safety. Our primary task is traffic law enforcement and traffic crash investigations. What's that? Oh no we are not like State Troopers in other States we aren't truly a full service law enforcement agency. We do have statewide jurisdiction but any involved investigations are handled by County or local jurisdictions. No we don't process evidence or conduct in depth criminal investigations that aren't traffic related, your thinking of FDLE that is the state agency closest to being a true State Police force in Florida.

Your right easier to explain your core mission than ours.

Moral of the story we check trucks and produce. You write tickets and take traffic crashes. We can man up and clean a toilet. You apparently crap outside.

And for god sakes whoever does not understand the difference between OUR and ARE please google it.