New rumor info just off the press:

Danny N is going to get a crew cut/flat top.

Alan W is going to retire and get a job as a valet parking cars in a motel.

Bart is going to be a full time dispatcher. He does much better than most of them anyway.

Greg Y is going to go to Afghanistan or Haiti and join the UN Police Force.

The Sheriff was offered the opportunity to take over LPD. He refused, reportedly because we had too many ex-Lake Worth police officers.

The new selection committee for Awards has been announced. It is composed entirely of blind, deaf and mute ex-police officers from Key West.

A uniform change will soon be announced. Veteran officers will wear blue Tommy Bahama shirts and shorts along with sandals. Badges will be worn on straw hats.
Socks are optional. Officers on probation will be required to wear the standard uniform, however, in any area where the word "police" was formerly worn, it shall be substituted for the words "Green Ass Rookie".

Dispatcher training has been cancelled. No wait, its on again. Nope, its cancelled. Hang on, its re-scheduled. Oh wait, that was the old date.

Our Training Sergeant will soon introduce a mandatory class of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Any officer who cannot raise his leg to a level above his head while standing on one foot will not pass the qualification. Any officer who can is eligible for a one-night stand.