Gentlemen....

While you were linguistically correct in most of your "observations", I felt the need to call attention to a few minor common misconceptions.

1) My hair is not "greasy". It is, in fact, very clean and well maintained. I use a blend of "American Crew" pomade ($16.99 for a 8 oz tin at Walgreens) and a touch of "American Crew" ultra-shine paste. ($12.99 per bottle wherever fine hair products are sold.)

2) According to Wikipedia, the average height for an eighth grade white male in this country is, in fact, 5'4" which puts me a solid inch taller than "you average 8th grader".

3) Tony Romo's fumble of the snap that cost them the playoff game vs Seattle had nothing to do with "bad luck". While unfortunate, it had more to do with an untested rookie long-snapper, and a poor hold by Romo.

4) While I certainly may not be the "hottest cop" in Davie, I am, according to my Grandmother; quite handsome.

Your other observations of me were, albeit somewhat hurtful, not worth debating. Thank you for making my personal life be so important to you that you felt the burning need to take time out of your day to share them with the general public.

Have a great day and be safe out there! As for me, I'm going to take a Zoloft and lie down.

Sincerely, "Jean".....(that was so clever)