Greene Virus Sighting

[Unregistered]

Park Rangers in North Carolina are dumb founded by reports of an angry female Yeti running through the woods with what appears to be a tool belt full of brightly colored dildos hanging off off it.

The beast has been terrorizing campers for the last few weeks and Park Rangers don’t know where it came from. They are currently tracking it with grizzly bear tranquilizer darts. If you or your family have been accosted or terrorized by this beast call the North Carolina Department of Natural Resources. Immediately.

[Unregistered]

Park Rangers in North Carolina are dumb founded by reports of an angry female Yeti running through the woods with what appears to be a tool belt full of brightly colored dildos hanging off off it.

The beast has been terrorizing campers for the last few weeks and Park Rangers don’t know where it came from. They are currently tracking it with grizzly bear tranquilizer darts. If you or your family have been accosted or terrorized by this beast call the North Carolina Department of Natural Resources. Immediately.

I hope it's not in or near Franklin NC, as I'm going there next month. Thanks for the warning.

[Unregistered]

I hope it's not in or near Franklin NC, as I'm going there next month. Thanks for the warning.

Listen the only bright colors I wanted to see on my NC fishing trip were trout scales because I was going to go trout fishing in a brook. Now I gotta worry about being attacked by this rogue big foot? Can’t the North Carolina fish and game department use a helicopter to capture this beast? Is she beating people with the dildos or what?

[Unregistered]

Recently captured transmission from NC fish and game helicopter.

Pilot: big Bear Lake 1, we gotta big smelly YETI on the deck down there. It’s carrying a large bright green penis with a rotating head in it’s hands. Sh!t we got a camper under attack! She just used the green weapon to slap a ham sandwich out of a campers hands! Camper down I repeat camper move in the wardens!

Dispatch: Hang right in there Big Bear Lake 1, units are on the way!

[Unregistered]

She’s a disgusting pig. I bet a starving wild animal wouldn’t even touch that walking bacteria infection. BSO is a better shithole without her

[Unregistered]

She’s a disgusting pig. I bet a starving wild animal wouldn’t even touch that walking bacteria infection. BSO is a better shithole without her

Yes but give credit where it’s due. Generations of shit bags just like her have helped to make it the sh!thole it is today. It wouldn’t be half the sh!thole it is without those contributions.

[Unregistered]

Her Indian name up in the mountains is “ walks with hairy milk jugs.”

[Unregistered]

Recently captured transmission from NC fish and game helicopter.

Pilot: big Bear Lake 1, we gotta big smelly YETI on the deck down there. It’s carrying a large bright green penis with a rotating head in it’s hands. Sh!t we got a camper under attack! She just used the green weapon to slap a ham sandwich out of a campers hands! Camper down I repeat camper move in the wardens!

Dispatch: Hang right in there Big Bear Lake 1, units are on the way!

Send Tony. He is an expert in all things including big green Dildos.

[Unregistered]

Have there been any more sightings in the last few days?

[Unregistered]

Have there been any more sightings in the last few days?

No but there have been three sightings of a wildebeest covered in buffalo sh!t in that same general area. Strangest thing is, it too has been wearing a tool belt with colorful dildos hanging off it. Authorities are trying to determine if the two things are related or they are in fact the same creature. Wildebeest are not native to the Carolina mountain range, so obviously people are frightened.