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  1. #1
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    Tips On Duty Underwear

    Back when I came on, we didn’t have a lot of options for undergarments. I had to wear the “whitey tighty” underwear; I really hated these because a mediocre wipe job would become very obvious. My second wife accused me of cheating because I shart myself on duty, and just cut my underwear off. She couldn’t understand why I came home with no underwear on.

    I have recently tried the boxer briefs with the spandex type material. I found these to be very comfortable, and they allow ample room for my genitalia to breath. The downside of this type of material is that the material does not retain liquid very well. I found this out when I was brave enough one day to indulge in a Chinese buffet on duty, and quickly found my stomach rumbling. To sum it up, I crapped my pants, and the juices bled straight through to my pants, it was very embarrassing, but I wore it with pride.

    I have since switched to the cotton boxer briefs. These seem to be the right balance; the boys have room to breath, just not as much as they do with the spandex type material. When I experienced an incident that resulted in me emptying my colon into my undergarments, I managed to run code to the station to, and used my pocket knife to cut them off. After the boxer briefs were cut off, I saw a perfect mold of my a** hole molded in my very own fecal matter. The best part, it did not seep through to my pants, and I managed to finish my shift with more dignity than the time before. I had also upgraded my wife since then, and she didn’t question why I didn’t have undergarments on when I returned home.

    I hope this information helps you.

  2. #2
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    This is an amazing musing. It really should be read by all. Thank you to it’s author.

  3. #3
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    Thank you. You are not the hero America needs, but the hero it deserves. More stories please. Let’s make a series out of these.

  4. #4
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    As a rookie officer beginning FTO this week I find this information very helpful! I myself was curious as to what underwear to wear on duty because I suffer from irritable bowl syndrome. I also get some of the worst cases of swamp a** that most people would never believe. Especially when I get nervous I sweat profusely and the swamp a** is sometimes unbearable. Thank you for this helpful information, can’t wait to begin my 1st phase of field training!!

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