National Emergency Scalping

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Install a kitchen sink sprayer on the toilets water line and hang on the wall, instant bidet

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The CDC advises all parents to quarantine their children from each other for the next 4 weeks. The federal government will reimburse you if you need to pay for hotel rooms to keep everyone separate. Make sure you save your receipts.

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A simple way to inoculate yourself against COVID-19 is to use carbon monoxide therapy. Fortunately, this is readily available to anyone with access to a car or truck. Simply connect a hose from the vehicle’s exhaust pipe and breathe the healing fumes deeply. There will no longer be a need for toilet paper hoarding.

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If anybody finds a store with baking flour still in stock, please post it here. We all need to stick together and look out for beneficial opportunities...for all!

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Elon Musk and Rush Limbaugh BOTH sold all of their stocks and withdrew all cash from banks to get through this crisis. Everyone needs to do the same IMMEDIATELY!

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I overheard two people talking in the store. They said the next big shortage will be avocados. I bought a BUNCH!