I am a Trooper
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Thread: I am a Trooper

  1. #1
    Unregistered
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    I am a Trooper

    Trooper

    Be a Trooper

    Alarm goes off at 0500

    Wake up Richard, your shift starts at 1300 today

    Stumble out of bed, stand next to the mirror and look sad

    Put on campaign hat

    **** yeah

    All better now

    Wife asks you why you’re wearing your campaign hat at 5 in the morning

    ‘I’m a Trooper.’

    Wife shakes head and walks away

    Walk out to driveway

    Start to wash and wax your squad

    Notice neighbor looking at you funny

    ‘Hey Richard, that’s the third time you’ve washed your police car in 24 hours……’

    Look at your neighbor in disgust

    Did he just call you a police officer?

    I’m a ****ing Trooper

    Walk away

    Put on campaign hat

    **** yeah

    All better now

    It’s 1259 now

    Shift starts at 1300

    Sit in your squad

    Finger tapping on the mic

    **** is it 1300 yet?

    It is now

    Start squad up

    Driving the highways

    Hot call comes out

    You’re dispatched to it

    Adrenaline pumping

    120 miles per hour down the freeway

    Lights/siren going

    Arrive on scene

    Remove tree branch that was partially blocking the shoulder

    Saving ****ing lives man

    Tip campaign hat to a passing motorist

    They ask you why you did that

    I just saved your life mam

    ‘I’m a Trooper.’

    No need to thank me, just doing my job

    Get back into squad car

    Time to crack down on speeders

    Make your first traffic stop

    Unbelievable speeder

    You stare in horror for the blatant disregard they have for others

    Issue the citation for speed

    ‘Sir you’re receiving a citation for 57 in a 55 today…’

    “Seriously? This is the third time this week…Only you…”

    ‘Sir……………………………………………….I’m a Trooper. I just saved your life. Slow down’

    Walk away

    **** yeah I’m a Trooper

    Get back in squad car

    Scanning city police channel

    Overheard a call come out

    Hot call

    Shooting

    Four people confirmed shot

    Shakes head

    ‘Not on the highway, not interrupting my day.’

    Stop a car for speed

    58 in a 55

    Heathens

    Get a hot call

    Adrenaline pumping, palms sweaty

    120 mph on the freeway

    Lights/siren going

    Arrive on scene

    Remove empty, flat 2x2 cardboard box from #3 lane

    Saved another ****ing life today

    Say ‘You’re welcome, motoring public’ and tip your campaign hat as you walk to your squad

    People shrug their shoulders and wonder why you do that

    They don’t get it

    They’re not Troopers

    We’re the gold standard of law enforcement

    They just can’t comprehend it

    End your shift

    It’s been a long 8 hours

    Pull your squad into your driveway

    Go into shock

    Staring in horror at the neighbors front lawn

    Get out of squad car

    Start walking quickly towards the neighbors to confront them

    Shit, forgot the campaign hat

    Go back to squad car

    Put campaign hat on

    Start walking quickly to neighbors again

    Your wife sees you

    ‘RICHARD! What are you doing?’

    “This has been going on too long. I’m talking to the neighbors and fixing this problem.”

    Get to the neighbors house

    Pound on door furiously

    Answered

    ‘Hey…Richard…what’s up?’

    “Your lawn. Grass is 5 inches tall. Ordinance says 4 inches max. Follow the rules. Next time it’s a ticket.”

    See. Troopers can give warnings too.

  2. #2
    Unregistered
    Guest

    2015 called...

    This is old, fake, and relatively homosexual.

  3. #3
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Still funny tho. Describes you troopers to a T

  4. #4
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Haters gonna hate. Police the police

  5. #5
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Trooper

    Be a Trooper
    Now that's funny and very well written.

    Thank you for the spacing as it makes it much easier to read.

  6. #6
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Are we bashing troopers out of jealousy here? Seems like this nonsense hater keeps orbiting back every so often.

  7. #7
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Same bunch, got fired or couldn't make it thru the process. Dont pay attention, they were miserable and always will be. I myself went from FHP to a S.O . I ran right back here within 5 months once I realized the politics of a county, I dont like kissing butt.

    Police the police, haters gonna hate.

  8. #8
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    Same bunch, got fired or couldn't make it thru the process. Dont pay attention, they were miserable and always will be. I myself went from FHP to a S.O . I ran right back here within 5 months once I realized the politics of a county, I dont like kissing butt.

    Police the police, haters gonna hate.
    I’m afraid not. You lasted 5 months huh? Sounds to me you didn’t last doing real police work and got fired in phase 5 FTO (5 months in). Back to writing a 4th grade reading level crash report. Cheers to you brother. Try to cover your jurisdiction on the highways we get sick of picking up the slack and waiting on you.

    Why don’t you man up and mention the department you went to and didn’t make it. Sure isn’t the truth in my area. Now x65 a S4 Trooper... I’ll be waiting. x52 of 1 hr like usual.

  9. #9
    Unregistered
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
    I’m afraid not. You lasted 5 months huh? Sounds to me you didn’t last doing real police work and got fired in phase 5 FTO (5 months in). Back to writing a 4th grade reading level crash report. Cheers to you brother. Try to cover your jurisdiction on the highways we get sick of picking up the slack and waiting on you.

    Why don’t you man up and mention the department you went to and didn’t make it. Sure isn’t the truth in my area. Now x65 a S4 Trooper... I’ll be waiting. x52 of 1 hr like usual.
    Don’t pay that clown any attention. It’s the same broken Spanglish fool that posts on all the threads about “policing the police”. Lol! I’m still trying to figure out what he means and what he thinks FHP does.

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