Sheriff Doofey here! I’m a ready to fight drugs and bad guys. Because drugs are bad like bad guys who are bad. They are bad for our society of good people who don’t like bad drugs or bad people who do bad things. I’m going to put deputies I don’t have to spare in public schools so that good people think we are gooder than the bad people who are still doing bad things. And we’re gonna sue the bad drug companies that make bad drugs that good people take and become bad addicts to these bad drugs. Which makes them criminals, or bad people, which is bad.

I love when your Sheriff gets to talk off script. I sit in awe of his awesome stupidity. I hope that’s all just a front to sound like he has a clue about what he is doing. Hopefully he just lets the real cops do the work and he’s just a mouth piece. But God help you, he is one of the dumbest mouth pieces to ever talk like a dumbass on the news. It’s very entertaining though. Too bad he’s not smart enough to get you guys decent pay. That would be a worthy cause. But hey, he makes six figures being a dumbass, that should make you happy.