Seriously

[Unregistered]

My grandpa has the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime band from the zoo.

[Unregistered]

Why can't ray charles see his friends???
............Cause he's married!

[Unregistered]

A cop with a police dog says to me "this dog tells me you're on drugs". I responded, "you're the one talking to dogs and I'm the one on drugs?"

[Unregistered]

My girlfriend said "women belong in the kitchen"
F##k that, she's staying in the cellar.

[Unregistered]

If God was a woman sperm would taste like chocolate.

Call the police cause I can't find my self-esteem.

[Unregistered]

My wife treats me like a god...

She takes very little notice of my existence until she wants something.

[Unregistered]

What do you get when you eat refried beans and onions...........tear gas.

[Unregistered]

Why did the girl pig break up with her boyfriend? Cause he was a real boar!