"The Talk"

All of us have seen that person who is starting to spiral downward or just screwing up. Routinely we talk about it behind his/her back and resign ourselves to the philosophy, “Eventually He’ll Do Himself and Get Caught”. Once the hammer drops, we hear the resounding, “I Saw It Coming – It Was Only a Matter of Time”.

Well, I’ve seen a couple LEO's spiraling downward and I took some private time with the individual for “The Talk”. The Talk is simple, I let the person know that I know about what he’s been doing, and that I’m not the only one. Then I explain the consequences of his actions. After his typical denial or assurance that it will be fine, I give him part two of the talk. I explain that if the behavior doesn’t stop, I will personally turn him in and he’ll be forced to face the consequences, or, he can stop now and it will be as though nothing ever happened.

At first there’s anger and resentment and then reality sets in. He stops at first because I promised to sign the complaint form. Eventually, he appreciates my candidness and considers me a friend. I’ve made a couple of real friendships over the years because of “The Talk” and possibly saved a couple careers.

Early on in my career I made some real “Bone Head” mistakes, but I thought everything was cool and I was fooling everyone. I learned about the talk because someone had it with me. I’d love to take credit for this useful tool, but I was once someone who needed it.

Think of being in IA? The complaint is read, your Rep is sitting beside you and you both listen to the tapes. Inside your head you rifle through all of the justifications and reasoning to lay out a defense and come out with either your personnel jacket or job in tact. But what if the IA Investigator just walked in and told you to leave, the investigation is being thrown in the shredder and it will never show up in your personnel jacket. No investigation, no review board, no record of the complaint, nothing. The whole thing is shredded and it will be as though it never happened?

Take the time to look at the people you work beside and maybe you might be that courageous person who gets with someone, one-on-one, and have “The Talk”. It’s not easy to tell someone you will sign a complaint against them, but it forces that person, right there, to make a decision, right at that very moment. If you do this, it will be like you are the IA Investigator who shredded the complaint and made it go away.

Don’t tear your brothers and sisters down, build em up and help them have strong and successful careers.

[Diesel]

All of us have seen that person who is starting to spiral downward or just screwing up. Routinely we talk about it behind his/her back and resign ourselves to the philosophy, “Eventually He’ll Do Himself and Get Caught”. Once the hammer drops, we hear the resounding, “I Saw It Coming – It Was Only a Matter of Time”.

Well, I’ve seen a couple spiraling downward and I took some private time with the individual for “The Talk”. The Talk is simple, I let the person know that I know about what he’s been doing, and that I’m not the only one. Then I explain the consequences of his actions. After his typical denial or assurance that it will be fine, I give him part two of the talk. I explain that if the behavior doesn’t stop, I will personally turn him in and he’ll be forced to face the consequences, or, he can stop now and it will be as though nothing ever happened.

At first there’s anger and resentment and then reality sets in. He stops at first because I promised to sign the complaint form. Eventually, he appreciates my candidness and considers me a friend. I’ve made a couple of real friendships over the years because of “The Talk” and possibly saved a couple careers.

Early on in my career I made some real “Bone Head” mistakes, but I thought everything was cool and I was fooling everyone. I learned about the talk because someone had it with me. I’d love to take credit for this useful tool, but I was once someone who needed it.

Think of being in IA? The complaint is read, your Rep is sitting beside you and you both listen to the tapes. Inside your head you rifle through all of the justifications and reasoning to lay out a defense and come out with either your personnel jacket or job in tact. But what if the IA Investigator just walked in and told you to leave, the investigation is being thrown in the shredder and it will never show up in your personnel jacket. No investigation, no review board, no record of the complaint, nothing. The whole thing is shredded and it will be as though it never happened?

Take the time to look at the people you work beside and maybe you might be that courageous person who gets with someone, one-on-one, and have “The Talk”. It’s not easy to tell someone you will sign a complaint against them, but it forces that person, right there, to make a decision, right at that very moment. If you do this, it will be like you are the IA Investigator who shredded the complaint and made it go away.

Don’t tear your brothers and sisters down, build em up and help them have strong and successful careers.

This is perhaps one of the best posts I've seen on here. Whoever posted it... you are wise and that's fantastic advice. think I need to have "the talk" with someone tonight... wish me luck!

How about sitting Kaz and all of the FOG Nation down for the talk. Just wondering out-loud as to how this talk would go over? I picture about 20 pounds of fresh manure thrown into an industrial fan...