New Statewide Survey Detail for 2009

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have formulated a new "Ops Plan" for early 2009,similar to "Operation Alcopoops". There is a new drink out there called "BEER". Sometimes it is called Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller, etc. A powerpoint is forthcoming. People, sometimes underage, purchase these drinks to become very drunkard. We need you to find 15 locations that sell this item because only a few places sell it. Not sure where, just find me 15 locations.

I know this new product (beer) is a shocking surprise to most or all of you, but yes it is out there!

During the beer surveys you must buy three Snickers bars, six packs of bubble gum, and 17 Ding Dongs with each attempt to purchase said beer. Greater chance for a buy this way because nobody buys beer without food, right? Also, you must park six blocks away and make the IA cross several lanes of traffic to get to the store. Then the IA can enter the store while a team consisting of three "Citizens On Patrol"(See Police Academy 4), a supervisor and an agent, enters behind them. This WILL NOT tip off the clerk, because they will have been tricked by our sneeky food purchase plan.

Also, whatever you do, DO NOT BUY SINGLES!!! People never buy single beers. Also, send IA's in two at a time, because again, nobody sells beer to just one person!

If anyone has any suggestions for my plans, please let me know. I am still trying to get a patent on it before some Major comes in and claims it was their great idea.

Also, congrats to you all on the succesful "Alcopoops" operation. I like the general public had never heard of Wine Coolers, Smirnoff Ice, or JD Lynchburg Lemonade. Now I am fully versed. Its amazing, because all the years of doing surveys, I would never have known to tell a female IA to purchase a wine cooler or Smirnoff Ice. What a marvelous idea! Way to think outside the box guys!!!

The author of this sarcastic montage has hit the proverbial nail on the head. Why do these idiots in Tallahassee and anyone above the rank of lieutenant think that all we are good for are surveys and that underage drinking is the most important task we should address? It is no wonder we get little respect from other agencies or our selves and why our legal teams are morons. They never get any real cases to handle other than underage crap.

Who remembers those stupid-ass alco/sports drink details we have done a few times? Like no one knows what a Sparks or Tilt is. Oh yeah, let us not forget to get out there and really work those surveys and make sure we get some poor man or woman fired right before Christmas who can barely pay their bills and take care of their own family.
More crimes that are important are occurring on licensed premises throughout the state. I think underage sales and consumption can be put on the back burner or at the very least not be so heavily worked. I think history has shown we have done everything but make a dent in underage sales and consumption.

A very wise Lt. was fond of saying "In any bureaucracy, stability is achieved when you spent half your time reporting on the nothing you are doing"

Seems to fit, doesn't it?

Crist needs to abolish ABT. He used to work at DBPR and knows it is pathetic with a bunch of do nothing, know nothing idiots that want to call themselves "police". Give us Florida citizens a break and lets save some money. Vote to abolish this waste! I will be sending letters to all the legislators in January and will be posting adds for them and other licensees to read this pathetic site. Keep posting dummies. It shows you at your finest! Lets get the message out on this useless waste of tax dollars and the abuse that occurs.

Why wait till January? You have free time now, since you are posting here - go ahead and send those letters. While you are at it, include your investigation on how you have attributed each and every one of the posts on this site to current dbpr employees. No wonder we get such a bad rep. Idiots like you have access to keyboards.
PS the postage for a first class letter is now 42 cents and Office Depot has a sale on envelopes.

[Unregistered]

A very wise Lt. was fond of saying "In any bureaucracy, stability is achieved when you spent half your time reporting on the nothing you are doing"

Seems to fit, doesn't it?

How is he doing?