Police stereotypes

Narcotics units
-Immediately grow facial hair, tells everybody they were ordered to.
-Starts watching every episode of Monster Garage.
-Buys a biker wallet with a big chain.
-Makes every case involve overtime $$$.
-Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime $$$.
-Learns to play golf drunk.

SWAT units
-Wears team T-shirts 2 sizes too small, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
-Tries to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
-Has a mirror handy to check hair, if they have hair.
-Never says hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT head nod.
-Subscribes to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
-Learns to play golf wearing his .45.

Community Service units
-Hates SWAT.
-Works to make everybody love you.
-Paints their office in pastel colors.
-Think Feng Shui.
-Subscribes to Psychology Today.
-Learns to play miniature golf.

Traffic units
-Writes tickets to EVERYBODY.
-Spends every weekend cleaning their bikes and polishing boots.
-Annoys everyone on the radio calling out your stops.
-Talks about nothing but how many tickets they wrote in one day.
-Rides by a building with big windows to see his reflection.
-Golf is lame, motor rodeos are cool.

K-9 Units
-Becomes sadistic
-Shows pictures of their latest dog bites
-Brags about his largest drug find
-Smells like a dog
-Works out 3 times a day
-Shows off his bruises

Administrative Units
-Three-hour lunches everyday, tells everybody it's a "meeting".
-Upgrades police department cell phone every month.
-Tells everybody they are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
-Updates their revenge list on a weekly basis.
-Golf Rules! Play lots of golf.

Patrol Units
-Has nerves of steel.
-In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
-Inability to keep mouth shut.
-Has defining tastes in alcohol.
-Is respected by peers.
-Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot

Investigators
-Come in at 0800
-"Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030
-Works from 1030 to Noon
-Noon to 1400 Works out and Lunch
-1400-1700 Sits in CID and talks about how many girlfriends they have and how the wife doesn't know. Plans his next RV, fishing, motorcycle trip.

Patrol Sergeant
-Remembers very well "how he used to do do it."
-Always willing to tell his officers the above. -Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
-Talks about "what he's hearing from upstairs."

Trainee
-Unable to grow facial hair.
-Watches every episode of Cops.
-Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
-Arrives for work three hours early.
-Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
-Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container ordinance.

New Corrections Officers
- Shows up for work 15 minutes early
- Buys only the best ink pens (Pilot G-2)
- Wears T-Shirts of his "dream department" under his uniform
- Wears a full duty belt of gear even though they have to remove: gun, baton, spare magazines, knife, cell phone, and BUG when you arrive at the facility
- Becomes friends with every local police officer
- Continues eating too much and not exercising

lmao