WAKE UP IT'S TIME TO GO TO THE POKEY

This one I heard from a chief of police at a swearing in ceremony of a friend of mine.

Back in the late 1970's the chief was a detective and he was dispatched to a home which was burglarized. While walking around the house room by room with the victim looking to see what was missing, she suddenly stops in front of her bedroom and asks "did you hear that noise?" The chief told everybody to be quiet and he and a other officers went inside the room. The noise was coming from underneath the bed.

The chief told the officers to lift the bed and as they lifted the bed, they saw the subject sleeping with a beer bottle on one hand and several other beer bottles around him. The noise the victim heard was the subject snoring. After the subject woke up (handcuffed in a patrol car LOL) he confessed to the chief and detectives that while in the house, he helped himself to a six pack of beer when the victim opened the door and walked into the house. So he took the empty bottles he had already drank and hid under the bed were he fell asleep. LOL