So Sorry:

Application denied:

Thank you for your recent application to become a fluffer in our thriving XXX industry.

Unfortunately, being a convicted felon, you do not meet our stringent requirements to be a fluffer. You fall well below our standards of what is required of a fluffer. Our fluffers are mostly honest you are not.

We understand you were referred to us by a couple of current fluffers, friends of yours, that lied for you in 2011.

They are excellent at keeping our male talent fluffed and aren't only blowhards but better looking than you even though they're obese. When they suck they mean it. Additionally, if you still communicate with your not so better half our current fluffers say he would make an outstanding fluffer. Apparently they know from experience.

If you want further information please contact our human resources director, Ms. Lafingatu @000.000.0000, she'll be happy to answer any questions you may have.

In summary, we are sorry to inform you your application for fluffer is DENIED.

Sincerely,
G.F. Yourself, Senior Vice President
Fake Tots, Entertainment ,
A Triple X Company