Becoming the wife of USSS agent

[stacywolf]

My Fiance is currently going through the interview process with the USSS. He has already passed his test and gone on his first interview. Can anyone give me a realistic idea of what I can expect our life to be like if he is hired? I know they travel a lot, but how much is a lot?

I recently retired from the USSS after 25 years. The traveling may make a bad marriage worse, but it won't kill a good marriage. There are times your husband will be gone (anniversaries, birthdays, etc), but you just have to make up for lost time when you can. Will the water heater break when he's gone?- Absolutely. Will the toilet overflow the day after he leaves? Of course. You will need to be more independant than your friends, but it can be done.

I have traveled to 60 countries; flown on Air Force One and Marine One; protected 6 Presidents; participated in history- Economic summits, Olympics, Democratic and Republican Conventions. Not bad for a little country boy.

My wife and kids have met Presidents and Prime Ministers and rolled eggs on the south grounds of the White House. Has it been all gravy? No- it has its ups and downs like any other job.
But you get to see and do things others only dream of. It was a great ride and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

By the way, I've been married for 24 years and my wife and I are enjoying my retirement.

I appreciate your insight. My father , who is now retired, was a City of Miami police officer and had to work a lot of off duty jobs to provide for my mother and me. When I was young, he wasn't around very much. Luckily he retired early enough for us to get to know eachother and spend time. I guess a big concern of mine with the USSS is how the job will affect a family and kids. You mentioned you had kids...how did they adjust to your absence?

Other than being independent (which I already consider myself to be) is there any other advice you could give me to prepare for this way of life? Maybe there is something your wife could suggest.

I hope to see you get some responses from wives, particularly wives of currently active agents. But in the mean time let me jump in and tell you about my experience.

During my first assignment to Washington in the late 1960's I traveled throughout the US and around the world. My absences were generally under two weeks and I was going somewhere every six weeks or so.

My oldest son was probably in the second grade. My wife and I were called in to school for a conference with the teacher. She had assigned the class to draw a picture of their house and family. She showed me our son's drawing.

There was a nice representation of our Cape Cod style house with my son, his brother, his sister and their mother in front of the house. When asked about me, he told the teacher that I was "never" there. The fact is that from my perspective I spent an extraordinary large amount of time with my kids when I was home.

Over the years both he and his brother experinced discipline and learning problems at school.

Now, as an adult he has told me that he hated the job because he resented my frequent and lengthy absences.

During the 1968 election campaign I was assigned to a candidate's protective detail. I spent three weeks in Washington alternating with three weeks at home. The problem was that during the three weeks at home I was often called upon to be out of town in some other part of my offices' district where some candidate was campaigning, so I wasn't really home at all.

I'm told that that was later changed to one month away and one month at home during a campaign year. I have no idea what it is now.

Watch the TV news. When the president is on vacation in Crawford, up at Camp David or traveling throughout the U.S. or the world just remember that the agents on his protective detail are with him and that many of them in fact went to his destination in advance to make security arrangements.

And when he is traveling in the U.S. it isn't just the protective agents and the agents in the town he is visiting who are there; they bring in dozens of agents from other parts of the country.

So, the short answer is that the agents are gone a lot.

Oh yes, you DO need to be quite self reliant. It seems like I was usually on a trip when my kids had medical emergencies; falling out of trees, breaking arms, etc.

And, you WILL be transferred around the country - more than once.

There ARE compensations.

The pay is good.

There is prestiege that goes with the job.

The agents' wives network and support each other.

The job is very, very important.

The health care and retirement benefits are good.

Now that I'm retired my wife and I have had great vacations including multiple trips to Alaska, to Hawaii and to Switzerland. We take cruises and car trips. We've visited the northeast, the northwest, the Pacific Coast and several National Parks including Yellowstone. I am a Civil War buff and we have also visited several Civil War battlefields.

My very best wishes to you. I wish you happiness and success in your marriage and your life.

I am, indeed, as my screen name indicates: Retired and Content.

Thanks very much for your input! It was very helpful. Best wishes to you and yours, as well, and happy retirement!

If your job is more important to you than your wife and kids then by all means stay with the service and get ready to hire good divorce attorney.

[RETUD]

If you really love your husband and want to enjoy your lives together, you better talk him out of the USSS. If he still joins, well good luck.

[worfusa2008]

Reply to Stacywolf:

If your intended survives the application process, a Background (Security Clearance) Investigation will be ordered. Part of this investigation includes a "Home Visit", where a supervisor and the case agent visit the applicant at home. You should tell your fiance that you wish to be present and that should be non-negotiable. The supervisor will explain the job to the applicant once again, but this will be your first time hearing it. Don't be intimidated. Ask questions. Wash the "White House Stars" out of your eyes and take a long hard look at the job, warts and all. It's not a career. It's a lifestyle unlike anything ever imagined and you will be a part of it. If you have any doubts that cannot be resolved during the Home Visit, you should walk, with or without him.

Headquarters prides itself on being "family oriented", but "the needs of the Service shall be paramount" (to paraphrase "The Manual"). Some current and former Special Agents take this to mean that if Headquarters wanted its SA's to have a personal life, they would issue it along with gun, radio, handcuffs, etc. It would appear on the SA's Property Card as "Life, Personal, Optional - 1

For the first three years, you will have very little family life. New Guys travel, a lot. They are often put on back-to-back travel rotations. They draw the Midnight Shift on surveillances. They are called out in the middle of the night and may not return for days. When in the office, they routinely work 10 - 12 hour days. They may difficulty avoiding the "Job Is Everything" trap. Remember - it is not a career; it is a lifestyle. If they're still on the job after five years, they will be there for another twenty. Those that leave do so between three and five years.

You had best become an independent person and have your own life, personal and professional. Become involved in a profession where you will be marketable where ever you go.

My Fiance is currently going through the interview process with the USSS. He has already passed his test and gone on his first interview. Can anyone give me a realistic idea of what I can expect our life to be like if he is hired? I know they travel a lot, but how much is a lot?

Every job, has it's good points and it's bad points. As any MDs wife/husband how they handled it when he/she were going through med school. Or when they were doing their residency, on call, etc., etc., etc.

Maybe owning your own business would be the answer? Ask anyone who has started their own company and see how much personal/quality time they spent with their family during the "early years".

I wish there was a good answer to your questions. If you go into any type Federal law enforcement, there will be assignments out of town. FBI, DEA, Customs, ATF, USMS all do a considerable amount of travel. Probably the least travel would be in the OIG community.

Good luck.

For the bride to be the advice already given to you is good. I'm sure you love him very much but you have to love him enough to let him reah his goals and be willing to suffer for it. If he wants to be an agent that is what he should be and you should do everything in your power to support that. I was a professional woman with a career when I married the most wonderful young agent in the world. We moved 4 times in 10 years and only once did we get the destination of our choice. The service will ask him to list 3 or 4 places where he'd "like" to be BUT you usually get transferred somewhere else. YOU have to be able to make decisions (major ones) on your own. You have to learn to be alone, A LOT, because he will have to travel at a moment's notice, sometimes for 7-10 days at a time. You may go 3 or 4 days without even talking to him. The first 3 -5 years he'll also be going to different training schools and travelling probably 40-50 % of the time. Feel lucky if you get to actually plan a vacation and lock in a date. "Baby" agents really get pounded on. My husband missed our daughter's 1st birthday, 1st Halloween, Christmases, Easter, 2 broken arms, sports games, my mother's death, etc...I actually had a surgery once when he was in Japan. It's a little easier now because some of the former protectees (presidents) have died but the demand for protection is still there.

As a spouse it's very difficult because you have to adjust to being away from all of your family and learn to create your own support network whereever you go. If you move to a vety large city such as New York or LA you may or may not live close to other agents. Your spouse may or may not want to mix business with pleasure--not always a good idea---mine did not. The spouse has to be independent and adaptable to whatever situation she is put in. You'll have to find people to "fix" things in the house for you whenhe's gone, mow the lawn yourself, etc.....

And yes, women love men in a suit as much as they do the ones in uniform. They go all stupid when a US Secret Service agent is around. So will all of your friends. It will get so bad after awhile that you just want to throw up and tell them to quit asking so many silly questions. BUT you won't you will just graciously answer them all.

As far as a "network of families and wives" that support each other----unless you're assigned to a very small former president's detail I've never witnessed this in 17 years. I have witnessed a lot of support coming from AFAUSSS (the retired agent's association) during times of crises or when families are in need and the agent is a member. Current and retired agents are encouraged to join. The cohesiveness and support for the family begins with the SAIC of the office and/or detail. Some SAICs actually have moral fiber and place strong emphasis on family but, sadly, they are few and far between.

Having said all of this I would strongly encourage you to support the man you love and let God take care of the rest. If you are a mama's girl or whiny baby on the other hand you might want to rethink your options.

[worfusa2008]

USSSWife,

+1

You have been given some great advice on this forum.My gut feeling is that if you have any reservations now about your future husband's career you should postpone the marraige for a few years. Sad but true,I don't believe that my first wife(there's lot of divorced agents of both genders)would have married me if she knew that I would become a USSS agent.