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View Full Version : STUPID ASS HALLANDALE POLICE



09-23-2010, 05:11 PM
I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERY RESIDENT IN HALLANDALE WHEN I SAY THEY HAVE THE DUMBEST POLICE IN THE WORLD!!! ANY ONE OF YOU PIGS REPLY.

09-23-2010, 07:05 PM
Hey Mr. Einstien. When you are speaking for a group, you in turn become part of that group. So it would not be "they think" it would be "we think". Next time you take of your big boy pants and see if you have a pair down there, click on nickjr.com instead and learn how to talk. Your a real big "playa" going to a web page and posting under "guest". Run your mouth like when the cops are around and they will beat your ass. I being a long time resident of the city would happily put my taxes towards that!

10-02-2010, 08:41 PM
Many of you know me for only a few things: my refusal to wear certain lady garments, my ability to work while injured, my inability to achieve a valid warrant, my lust for the perfect Marlboro, my equal loathing for Nicorette gum and the a**hole who invented it, or my undeniable kick-ass mullet…but perhaps I am known most for my hate of the word (and the very noun itself) of c**k…well except for one of course. It’s a long story that I’ve wanted to get off my wrinkled droop-boobed chest for almost my whole life, and now before my exile I must let the world know…let us begin.
It was the summer of ’53, I was 13 at the time (just legal in the state of Mississippi) and I had just finished dinner. It was one of my favorite meals, a meal to this day I still feel is the only meal complimented with candle light…Dinosaur Cheesy Mac. I was in the shower now washing my undeniable kick-ass mullet with my doctor prescribed dandruff shampoo when, I suddenly heard the door creak open like so many times before. I knew exactly who it was. He didn’t say a word to me, he never had to. And with the same respect I tried not to make a sound either, it was always easier with as little dialog as possible. Perhaps tonight he would do more than just watch, so I decided to take my chance and offer myself to the only man I knew could do me right. I slowly slid open the shower curtain to reveal my naked self with my undeniable kick-ass mullet. I had already lathered and rinsed but perhaps I could go through it again, it was always his favorite part of the show.
I was in the middle of letting the suds run down my crap-stained butt-crack while at the same time pinching my salami nipples to add just the hint of a tease that would, without a doubt, drive him wild. And I must say it was working, before I could bend over to pick up the soap I noticed the biggest bulge in his pants, and my mouth began to water just thinking of what was behind those overalls. The silence finally broke with the sexiest ‘Southern drawl’ I have ever heard him use, “Yo mama is wurkin late agin tonaht”. During that confession I kept my eyes closed, letting my heart skip a beat, my knees go weak and my undeniable kick-ass mullet remain undeniably kick-ass. When I opened my eyes back up I finally gazed upon what I have been waiting on for over 6 years.
He had unbuttoned his overalls to reveal the most beautiful piece of meat I had ever seen. As he stroked it I witnessed it getting longer and harder right inside his hands, and for the first time I actually felt jealousy for a body part. I could see every vein and with every pulse of it I could feel it inside me…I knew in my heart that this was the night.
I walked out of the shower forgetting to even dry myself or my undeniable kick-ass mullet, and as I went to grab his hand he quickly redirected it to his member, letting that guide me into the bedroom. Then, in a moment that will last forever in my mind, two undeniable kick-ass mullets came together that night. I believe for my sake he wanted to be gentle, considering that I haven’t had a chance to weed-whack my jungle bush yet, but I assured him I wanted to be treated like the tween I was…and that I had been a very bad girl.
It started with him throwing me on the bed and forcing me open, and you could almost see the green stink lines coming off of my jungle bush. It was the first time I had my ankles behind my head (in what he called the ‘Mississippi Pretzel’). And when he shoved it in me I watched my jungle bush split, parting ever so slightly and fully accepting that spear like a Venus Flytrap taking in a dung beetle. Every pump was faster and harder, the steam left over from the shower had mixed with the sweat on my crap-stained butt-crack to create an aroma I will never forget. At one point I thought he was going to break my pelvis! Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he flipped me over on my hands and knees and spread my crap-stained butt-crack. I tried to turn around to witness his facial expression when he forced my head down in the pillow and grabbed my undeniable kick-ass mullet. He held that thing like handle bars, controlling the movement of my head with every thrust.
“If dis is wat heavin is like den jus snuff me nahw!”, I finally shouted into the pillow. To be honest that was the last clear thought I could remember, after that comment everything was combined into one wonderful scene of bliss. I knew when it was close to being over because his moans were growing louder and longer, I just wasn’t sure where to take the load. The only thing I asked him in a single plea was, “please, not on da undeniable kick-ass mullet”. He replied, “I wud neva do dat”. My legs began to shiver, knowing what was about to come from me, and in the most perfect of all timing his climax was incestuously matched by mine as I finally screamed, “DADDY!”
When it was over, we both just laid in bed, breathing heavy but worried to make eye contact, we had just done what is considered normal practice in Mississippi, but I was still nervous. Then before I knew it we both were startled by the sound of jingling keys on the front of the double-wide and we knew Mama was home. I jumped out of that bed almost as fast as he threw me on it and scurried to the door, I turned back to notice him staring at my crap-stained butt-crack as it was shaking with every step…and I couldn’t say I blamed him, I worked long and hard to keep that crap-stain symmetrical. As I jumped into my own bed, sticking to the sheets, I made sure my undeniable kick-ass mullet was in place so that it would not get ruined (I did have a reputation to uphold). I tried to drift off to sleep for hours but my mind was still racing with the events that just took place.
Of course that was the night I knew I would swear off man meat forever. Soon after that I tried out for the softball team (convinced all the girls that my undeniable kick-ass mullet should be in a museum) and started my muff-diving life. I tried everything since that night to replace the feeling of that beautiful piece of tube steak with its perfectly placed genital warts, but nothing compares to that glorious purple headed yogurt slinger, not a cucumber, termite infested tree branch, a Golden Retriever’s head, F-350 drive shaft…nothing could come close. That’s when I decided to start hating the world (mostly men), and unfortunately for the Hallandale Beach P.D. it’s also when I decided to become a cop. And now, every once in a while I’ll walk down stairs to take a look at the people who are doing the work I’m too good for, I mostly come down to view the ’94 picture of our fabulous Police/CSA crew. I wrote a letter to big Tommy one time in an attempt to air brush my undeniable kick-ass mullet on everyone else in the picture to make it the most amazing photo ever taken on the face of the earth, but big Tommy told me there is a lot more memorabilia on the wall and he couldn’t have a crowd gathering around just one. So as I leave you all I can only give one piece of advice (the only thing that ever really helped me). And that is simply…shoot a man in the a**, it’ll get you anywhere you want to go.
Thank you and God Bless….women.

12-27-2010, 08:26 AM
I'm sorry but i kind of agree with him in some aspects in others. Our pd is no different from any other.They think cause they have a gun and a badge they can walk around like desperado's (in relation to about 10% of the force) the others I have known for a long time and are all great guys...but some of these new faces have got to go or the people of the city will start protesting. I've heard way to much around town about abuse of authority, our beloved traffic light, corruption, and countless other problems.Till Ii started to see some of it on a first hand view and I no longer walk out and breathe fresh air in my city I walk out and smell the stench of the corruption our dream casino has brought us.I honor those who serve in uniform as much as the next guy who's stood behind the other end of a rifle, but the reality is the only reason your in this department is either your scared of others. However ,I agree this post I find to be a bit disgusting and a poor display of hallandale's citizens. If you have something to say do something about it don't post moronic beligerant statements such as these.This post should be removed just for being plain fail!

12-27-2010, 06:29 PM
I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERY RESIDENT IN HALLANDALE WHEN I SAY THEY HAVE THE DUMBEST POLICE IN THE WORLD!!! ANY ONE OF YOU PIGS REPLY.

is this coming from the citizen whose home i responded to because your house caught fire due to you cooking hot dogs on a charcoal grill in the living room? maybe your the one that called called me to make a fraud complaint because the crack you bought was fake...or you are the drug dealer that called in because somebody paid him with a countefeit $20... the citizen that rented a 60 inch tv from rent-a-center but only has milk crates to sit on in the living room? the one who jumped his dirt bike into a tree and knocked out all his teeth? i know you're not the one who was showing off that shotgun and blew your friend's leg half off...he's in prison. you could either be the resident who drove their car off the third floor parking garage or the resident running around naked with a guitar handcuffed to your hand....the resident who tried to poisen himself by spraying cologne in his mouth? the resident thinks the words "affidavit" "probable cause" are "appledavis" and "profitable calls"? the one who wanted to put a sign outside that said "no loitering and no alcohol" but wrote "no lawtering and no alchohall"...at least you spelled "no" correctly. maybe your the guy who got arrested with a bunch of crack in his socks and offered the judge a defense of "i borrowed the socks from someone and didnt know the crack was in there." maybe your the resident who tried to rip open an ATM machine in front of 4 security guards, trying to retrieve the money you lost at poker. sorry if think we're dumb, please understand that we have to act that way so some of the residents will understand us. you guys aren't exactly MENSA candidates either.

12-27-2010, 06:59 PM
I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERY RESIDENT IN HALLANDALE WHEN I SAY THEY HAVE THE DUMBEST POLICE IN THE WORLD!!! ANY ONE OF YOU PIGS REPLY.

is this coming from the citizen whose home i responded to because your house caught fire due to you cooking hot dogs on a charcoal grill in the living room? maybe your the one that called called me to make a fraud complaint because the crack you bought was fake...or you are the drug dealer that called in because somebody paid him with a countefeit $20... the citizen that rented a 60 inch tv from rent-a-center but only has milk crates to sit on in the living room? the one who jumped his dirt bike into a tree and knocked out all his teeth? i know you're not the one who was showing off that shotgun and blew your friend's leg half off...he's in prison. you could either be the resident who drove their car off the third floor parking garage or the resident running around naked with a guitar handcuffed to your hand....the resident who tried to poisen himself by spraying cologne in his mouth? the resident thinks the words "affidavit" "probable cause" are "appledavis" and "profitable calls"? the one who wanted to put a sign outside that said "no loitering and no alcohol" but wrote "no lawtering and no alchohall"...at least you spelled "no" correctly. maybe your the guy who got arrested with a bunch of crack in his socks and offered the judge a defense of "i borrowed the socks from someone and didnt know the crack was in there." maybe your the resident who tried to rip open an ATM machine in front of 4 security guards, trying to retrieve the money you lost at poker. sorry if think we're dumb, please understand that we have to act that way so some of the residents will understand us. you guys aren't exactly MENSA candidates either.

Haha...yeah, or maybe you're the one who yelled, "P*ssy a$$ n!ga" (that's censorship, not spelling...although maybe you can understand that better) as you fit the description of a suspect in an armed battery. And when you get stopped and questioned you got so pissed off that you had your mom complain...(and by the way, he is 28 years old). Or maybe you're the person who's asthmatic and couldn't breathe so you called rescue (and if you didn't know, the police only have to accompany rescue in 'certain' parts of the city because a rescue truck was stolen years ago) at 6:15 in the morning. Then when you took your inhaler you surprisingly felt okay.

This is fun, if anyone else can share stories please do. It's good to have some actual "silly stuff" on here that's good for a laugh.

12-28-2010, 07:36 AM
The guy that used to live in the SW had a pet monkey and when his neighbors accused him of breaking into thier house to steal beer he got his monkey drunk so he could blame the monkey for the burglary.

12-28-2010, 03:52 PM
I'm sorry but i kind of agree with him in some aspects in others. Our pd is no different from any other.They think cause they have a gun and a badge they can walk around like desperado's (in relation to about 10% of the force) the others I have known for a long time and are all great guys...but some of these new faces have got to go or the people of the city will start protesting. I've heard way to much around town about abuse of authority, our beloved traffic light, corruption, and countless other problems.Till Ii started to see some of it on a first hand view and I no longer walk out and breathe fresh air in my city I walk out and smell the stench of the corruption our dream casino has brought us.I honor those who serve in uniform as much as the next guy who's stood behind the other end of a rifle, but the reality is the only reason your in this department is either your scared of others. However ,I agree this post I find to be a bit disgusting and a poor display of hallandale's citizens. If you have something to say do something about it don't post moronic beligerant statements such as these.This post should be removed just for being plain fail!

Have you been anywhere lately? This is not indicative of only our police department but everywhere that you can go. Every young person from the kids who bag grocery to most who work at the over priced casino, at least the pd is giving a service in return. Thank you Law enforcement for all that you do and my you all stay safe