psst...

DEPUTY CHIEF, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT LEOAFFAIRS.COM AND GET BACK TO WORK? :shock:

Looking at your stats why should I be the only one working?

Looking at your stats why should I be the only one working?

Way to lead by example, Boss.

That simple little statement by the Dep chief is the epitome of what is wrong with this department.

That simple little statement by the Dep chief is the epitome of what is wrong with this department.


lol. those are some great leadership skills, arent they? hey DC maybe you should grab a copy of A CALL TO LEAD with the rest of the prospective sergeants. it will explain why everything you do is a poor example and why no one will ever respect you. check out the part where is says that when morale and productivity are in the crapper, chances are its you that is to blame. if you spent as much time trying to do good for your employees as you do despising them, people probably wouldnt write comments like that about you.
:evil:

Looking at your stats why should I be the only one working?


that comeback sucked

some of you just need to get a life.

some of you just need to get a life.

Well YOU are the one reading this at 12:22 PM on a Sunday douchebag.

some of you just need to get a life.

LOL...at least i have a sense of humor....and friends
:snicker:

some of you just need to get a life.

LOL...at least i have a sense of humor....and friends
:snicker:


Deputy Chief will you please stop looking at leoaffairs.com and go to thejokeyard.com so you can be funnier?

That simple little statement by the Dep chief is the epitome of what is wrong with this department.


lol. those are some great leadership skills, arent they? hey DC maybe you should grab a copy of A CALL TO LEAD with the rest of the prospective sergeants. it will explain why everything you do is a poor example and why no one will ever respect you. check out the part where is says that when morale and productivity are in the crapper, chances are its you that is to blame. if you spent as much time trying to do good for your employees as you do despising them, people probably wouldnt write comments like that about you.
:evil:

I HAVE LOOKED AT THIS BOOK AND I ABSOLUTELY AGREE IT POINTS OUT ALL OF OUR WEAKNESSES. THEREFORE, I HEREBY DECREE THAT "A CALL TO LEAD" WILL NO LONGER BE USED AS STUDY MATERIAL FOR THE SGTS TEST!!!!! THAT BOOK TALKS BAD ABOUT ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!! ALL COPIES OF THE BOOK WILL HEREBY BE BURNED!!!!!! I WANT TO BURN THAT WHITE BOOK TOO!!! IT HAS THE WORDS COMMON SENSE IN THE TITLE!!! HOW DARE THEY. BOTH BOOKS BE BURNED NOW! MEMMEMEME MY MY MY ME ME ME MY MY MY MY MY!!!!

I WILL NOW AUTHOR TWO REPLACEMENTS BOOKS FOR THE TEST!!! ACTUALLY IT WILL BE WRITTEN BY MY SECRETARY BECAUSE I CANT SPELL...BUT IT WILL BE MYYYY WORDS!!!! DICTATED BY MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! THE FIRST BOOK WILL BE TITLED A CALL TO LEAD WITH MY EGO IT WILL EXPLAIN HOW I LEAD BY THINKING ABOUT WHAT????.........MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! THE SECOND BOOK WILL BE MY MEMOIRS CALLED HOW TO BECOME THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN IN 4.5 SQUARE MILES IT IS HEREBY FORTHWITH AND WITHOUT HASTE SO ORDERED!!!!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I JUST SAID.....BUT IT MAKES MEE SOUND IMPORTANT!!!!!!!! ME ME ME MY MY MY MY MY..............PULL MY FINGER...MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What happens when BSO takes over?

that's telling them!! hfm-hfm-hfm!!! <---(that's how my laugh is spelled.) that sure showed them chief...your such a big shot!! ... i'm a big shot too!!!!! and i have friends!!! one time there was this kid, tommy munson, he sat next to me in school for a whole year! so take that you bullies. i'll show you all!!! good job chief!!! :devil:

A Tommy Boy & Little Jimmy what is yous twos gonna do when the city manager gets dumped. Yous guys wont have da ability to use ur strong arm pursuasion no mo.

that's telling them!! hfm-hfm-hfm!!! <---(that's how my laugh is spelled.) that sure showed them chief...your such a big shot!! ... i'm a big shot too!!!!! and i have friends!!! one time there was this kid, tommy munson, he sat next to me in school for a whole year! so take that you bullies. i'll show you all!!! good job chief!!! :devil:


thats funnier than the real DC

What happens when BSO takes over?

who cares? i wanna know what'll happen when the City Mgr finally collapses. i mean the poor sob obviously has a problem and his bosses seem to be more worried about how its going to affect them instead of intervening and helping the guy.

Maybe when he goes he'll sing like a bird on ALL he knows (Hint Hint Mr. Manager). :evil:

Many of you know me for only a few things: my refusal to wear certain lady garments, my ability to work while injured, my inability to achieve a valid warrant, my lust for the perfect Marlboro, my equal loathing for Nicorette gum and the a**hole who invented it, or my undeniable kick-ass mullet…but perhaps I am known most for my hate of the word (and the very noun itself) of c**k…well except for one of course. It’s a long story that I’ve wanted to get off my wrinkled droop-boobed chest for almost my whole life, and now before my exile I must let the world know…let us begin.
It was the summer of ’53, I was 13 at the time (just legal in the state of Mississippi) and I had just finished dinner. It was one of my favorite meals, a meal to this day I still feel is the only meal complimented with candle light…Dinosaur Cheesy Mac. I was in the shower now washing my undeniable kick-ass mullet with my doctor prescribed dandruff shampoo when, I suddenly heard the door creak open like so many times before. I knew exactly who it was. He didn’t say a word to me, he never had to. And with the same respect I tried not to make a sound either, it was always easier with as little dialog as possible. Perhaps tonight he would do more than just watch, so I decided to take my chance and offer myself to the only man I knew could do me right. I slowly slid open the shower curtain to reveal my naked self with my undeniable kick-ass mullet. I had already lathered and rinsed but perhaps I could go through it again, it was always his favorite part of the show.
I was in the middle of letting the suds run down my crap-stained butt-crack while at the same time pinching my salami nipples to add just the hint of a tease that would, without a doubt, drive him wild. And I must say it was working, before I could bend over to pick up the soap I noticed the biggest bulge in his pants, and my mouth began to water just thinking of what was behind those overalls. The silence finally broke with the sexiest ‘Southern drawl’ I have ever heard him use, “Yo mama is wurkin late agin tonaht”. During that confession I kept my eyes closed, letting my heart skip a beat, my knees go weak and my undeniable kick-ass mullet remain undeniably kick-ass. When I opened my eyes back up I finally gazed upon what I have been waiting on for over 6 years.
He had unbuttoned his overalls to reveal the most beautiful piece of meat I had ever seen. As he stroked it I witnessed it getting longer and harder right inside his hands, and for the first time I actually felt jealousy for a body part. I could see every vein and with every pulse of it I could feel it inside me…I knew in my heart that this was the night.
I walked out of the shower forgetting to even dry myself or my undeniable kick-ass mullet, and as I went to grab his hand he quickly redirected it to his member, letting that guide me into the bedroom. Then, in a moment that will last forever in my mind, two undeniable kick-ass mullets came together that night. I believe for my sake he wanted to be gentle, considering that I haven’t had a chance to weed-whack my jungle bush yet, but I assured him I wanted to be treated like the tween I was…and that I had been a very bad girl.
It started with him throwing me on the bed and forcing me open, and you could almost see the green stink lines coming off of my jungle bush. It was the first time I had my ankles behind my head (in what he called the ‘Mississippi Pretzel’). And when he shoved it in me I watched my jungle bush split, parting ever so slightly and fully accepting that spear like a Venus Flytrap taking in a dung beetle. Every pump was faster and harder, the steam left over from the shower had mixed with the sweat on my crap-stained butt-crack to create an aroma I will never forget. At one point I thought he was going to break my pelvis! Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he flipped me over on my hands and knees and spread my crap-stained butt-crack. I tried to turn around to witness his facial expression when he forced my head down in the pillow and grabbed my undeniable kick-ass mullet. He held that thing like handle bars, controlling the movement of my head with every thrust.
“If dis is wat heavin is like den jus snuff me nahw!”, I finally shouted into the pillow. To be honest that was the last clear thought I could remember, after that comment everything was combined into one wonderful scene of bliss. I knew when it was close to being over because his moans were growing louder and longer, I just wasn’t sure where to take the load. The only thing I asked him in a single plea was, “please, not on da undeniable kick-ass mullet”. He replied, “I wud neva do dat”. My legs began to shiver, knowing what was about to come from me, and in the most perfect of all timing his climax was incestuously matched by mine as I finally screamed, “DADDY!”
When it was over, we both just laid in bed, breathing heavy but worried to make eye contact, we had just done what is considered normal practice in Mississippi, but I was still nervous. Then before I knew it we both were startled by the sound of jingling keys on the front of the double-wide and we knew Mama was home. I jumped out of that bed almost as fast as he threw me on it and scurried to the door, I turned back to notice him staring at my crap-stained butt-crack as it was shaking with every step…and I couldn’t say I blamed him, I worked long and hard to keep that crap-stain symmetrical. As I jumped into my own bed, sticking to the sheets, I made sure my undeniable kick-ass mullet was in place so that it would not get ruined (I did have a reputation to uphold). I tried to drift off to sleep for hours but my mind was still racing with the events that just took place.
Of course that was the night I knew I would swear off man meat forever. Soon after that I tried out for the softball team (convinced all the girls that my undeniable kick-ass mullet should be in a museum) and started my muff-diving life. I tried everything since that night to replace the feeling of that beautiful piece of tube steak with its perfectly placed genital warts, but nothing compares to that glorious purple headed yogurt slinger, not a cucumber, termite infested tree branch, a Golden Retriever’s head, F-350 drive shaft…nothing could come close. That’s when I decided to start hating the world (mostly men), and unfortunately for the Hallandale Beach P.D. it’s also when I decided to become a cop. And now, every once in a while I’ll walk down stairs to take a look at the people who are doing the work I’m too good for, I mostly come down to view the ’94 picture of our fabulous Police/CSA crew. I wrote a letter to big Tommy one time in an attempt to air brush my undeniable kick-ass mullet on everyone else in the picture to make it the most amazing photo ever taken on the face of the earth, but big Tommy told me there is a lot more memorabilia on the wall and he couldn’t have a crowd gathering around just one. So as I leave you all I can only give one piece of advice (the only thing that ever really helped me). And that is simply…shoot a man in the a**, it’ll get you anywhere you want to go.
Thank you and God Bless….women.