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09-04-2008, 09:54 PM
Father/Daughter Talk

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth. She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'
The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's a crazy idea, and how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to the Republican party.'

Tom
01-01-2010, 12:21 AM
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse
me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,
but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet
above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude
and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm
still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."
The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Republican."
"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are
going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot
air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me
to solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in
before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault!

http://www.bartlettpark.net/2008/12/bartlett-park-crime-watch-tuesday-at.html

09-23-2010, 11:44 AM
"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

"You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

31deg 14 min 97sec is a bad number sec only go to 59 before going to next minute. Where is 31deg 15min 37sec N lat, 100deg 49min 09 sec W lon ? That would be the driveway of the First United Methodist Church in Mertzon, TX About 350 miles northwest of the Gulf of Mexico.
So the man sitting in the boat has a bad GPS system (which is why he is not catching many fish?). He thinks he knows where he is based on his technical information, but he does not have enough common sense too look at the world around him and see the truth.


"You must be an Obama Democrat."

The woman has made an accurate assessment that the man is clueless at this point, and makes a condescending remark without being actually rude


"I am. How did you know?"

Again, using diplomacy, the balloonist, ever a lady, (but not knowing navigational techniques of latitude & longitude gives a polite assessment. It is not clear why she did not just ask what town they were in.


"Well, everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

"You must be a Republican."

"I am, How did you know?"

"Well, 1)you don't know where you are or where you are going. 2)You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and 3)you expect me to solve your problem. 4)You're in exactly the same position you were in
before we met, 5)but somehow, now it's my fault!

The man in a ‘driveway boat’ starts making judgmental statements once again.
1) The balloonist clearly stated she was going to see a friend. And simply needs to reestablish bearings after being blown off course.
2) The balloonist showed excellent skills at her craft with her controlled decent to a specific location where ‘help’ was present. Did you ever try and direct a wind driven balloon?
3) Asking for a location is not the solution to a problem, it is simply a request for needed information
4) Other than a descent of several hundred feet(which must now be regained), this is correct, his information and conversation was pointless
5) the man feels guilty for his irrational ignorance, and transfers his frustration with a personal attack by assigning a judgment call to the woman which she never made.

An earlier version was between a manager in a baloon, and an engineer in a boat, which makes a lot more sense in the real world.

jamesmarshal1
02-11-2011, 06:24 AM
Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white
stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't
know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did
and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other
zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are
what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black
stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."