My wife, I mean life...

Three women: one engaged, one married, and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decide to amaze their men.... that night all three will wear a leather bodice S&M style, stilettos and mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet again..... The engaged girlfriend said: 'The other night, when my boyfriend came back home, he found me in the leather bodice, 4' stilettos and mask. He said, 'You are the woman of my life, I love you...then we made love all night long.'

The mistress stated: 'Oh Yes! The other night we met in his office. I was wearing the leather bodice, mega stilettos, mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat, he didn't say a word. We just had wild sex all night.'

The married one then said: 'The other night I sent the kids to stay at my mother's for the night, I got myself ready, leather bodice, super stilettos and mask over my eyes. My husband came in from work, grabbed the TV controller and a beer, and said, 'Hey Batman, what's for dinner?'

Power of thought

Court Bailiffs bring in an unruly man to stand before the judge. As they are doing so, he makes several outbursts telling the bailiffs to get their hands off of him and calls them all f-u-c-k-I-n-g- a-s-s- h-o-l-e-s.

The judge in anger and disbelief yells out,

Judge: “ Sir, you will control yourself in my courtroom or I shall hold you in contempt. How dare you speak this way in my courtroom”.


Bad guy: “Judge I was just speaking my mind and saying what I feel.”

Judge: “Sir, you will not do so in my courtroom without consequence.”

Bad guy: “Judge, I thought we had the freedom of speech in this country! It’s got to where a man can’t even say what he feels or thinks anymore.”

Judge: “You do have the freedom of speech in this country but you will exercise some restraint while in my court. And there is no law restricting thought.”

Bad guy: “So, you’re telling me I can think anything I want Judge?”

Judge: “There is no law against thinking sir”

Bad guy: “Well Judge, I think you and these cops are f-u-c-k-I-n-g- a-s-s- h-o-l-e-s !!!”