12-12-2007, 06:40 PM
Narcotics units
Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.
SWAT units
Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.
Community Service units
Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors.
Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.
School Resource Officers
Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
Knows every coffee pot location on campus
Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
Really hates kids but loves the hours
Only talks to the really hot teachers
Only works at night when there is a football game
Drives a golf cart all day on campus
Administrative Units
Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a "meeting".
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
leave by 3:59
Fridays 2:59 (of course they were at a meeting)
Patrol Units
Has nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol.
Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot
Investigators
Come in at 0800 discuss lunch plans
"Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030>
Work from 1030 to Noon to 100p lunch
1300-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how
the wife doesn't know. Plan your lunch location for the next day
Patrol Sergeant
Remembers very well "how we used to do it."
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
Talks about "what he's hearing from the west wing."
Trainee
Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Arrives for work three hours early.
Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container
ordinance.
Immediately grow facial hair, tell everybody you were ordered to.
Start watching every episode of Monster Garage.
Buy a biker wallet with a big chain.
Make every case involve overtime $$$.
Buy bunches of boats, RV's, and motorcycles with that overtime.
Learn to play golf drunk.
SWAT units
Wear team T-shirts, Oakley sunglasses and boots everyday.
Try to fit the word breach in to every conversation.
Have a mirror handy to check hair, if you have hair.
Never say hello to anyone who is not an operator, just practice your SWAT
head nod.
Subscribe to Soldier of Fortune and Muscle and Fitness.
Learn to play golf wearing a gun.
Community Service units
Hate SWAT.
Work to make everybody love you.
Paint your office in pastel colors.
Think Feng Shui.
Subscribe to Psychology Today.
Learn to play miniature golf.
School Resource Officers
Starbucks before work, show up on campus at 0800 hrs
Knows every coffee pot location on campus
Sits behind his desk pretending to work, but really surfing the net
Really hates kids but loves the hours
Only talks to the really hot teachers
Only works at night when there is a football game
Drives a golf cart all day on campus
Administrative Units
Three-hour lunches everyday, tell everybody it's a "meeting".
Upgrade department cell phone every month.
Tell everybody you are published in a national law enforcement magazine.
Update your revenge list on a weekly basis.
leave by 3:59
Fridays 2:59 (of course they were at a meeting)
Patrol Units
Has nerves of steel.
In a terminal state of nausea from department politics.
Inability to keep mouth shut.
Has defining tastes in alcohol.
Is respected by peers.
Beats the crap out of his caddy on any bogeyed shot
Investigators
Come in at 0800 discuss lunch plans
"Breakfast" from 0815 to 1030>
Work from 1030 to Noon to 100p lunch
1300-1700 Sit in CID and talk about how many girlfriends you have and how
the wife doesn't know. Plan your lunch location for the next day
Patrol Sergeant
Remembers very well "how we used to do it."
Always willing to tell his officers the above.
Tries to fit the word "liability" in to every sentence.
Talks about "what he's hearing from the west wing."
Trainee
Unable to grow facial hair.
Watches every episode of Cops.
Worships the ground the SWAT guys walk on.
Arrives for work three hours early.
Thinks the sergeant is thrilled to see him.
Won't drink on the golf course because it violates the open container
ordinance.